Why the world needs John Daly.

The New John Daly

So Tiger has departed Australian shores and found himself in a spot of bother back home. Who would have thought! Women, Car crashes, fighting - that is usually the domain of the one and only John Daly. And guess what. He is back in Australia and hopefully he is smashing more balls and cameras this year!

World golf has been boring this year. US Open - Lucas Glover - boring. British Open - Stewart Cink - boring. Tiger somehow lost the PGA but up until the final few holes it too was boring. Christ, irish bookmaker Paddy Power paid out on Tiger at halfway. At least Angel Cabrera, winner of this years masters has a but of pizzaz but still he does not bring much else to write about.
So until Tigers little indiscretion there was nothing for the media to write about, except golf.
This is the very reason that the sporting world, and in particular the golfing world, needs John Daly. In fact the world at large needs John. In this self righteous, puritan and somewhat sterile world of sporting heroes we need to be entertained. Not just entertained by the athlete at their chosen profession, but by them in the way they go about their daily life.

The retrospective.......

"THE LION", as Daly is affectionately known by his fans, burst onto the golfing scene in 1991, winning the PGA Championship at Crooked Stick. A last-minute entry into the field, he drove through the night to make his tee off. He went into day one without a practice round, but still shot an opening 69 before going on to win by three strokes. It soon became apparent though that John Daly never did anything without drama or controversy. His stunning second major came at the British Open at St Andrews in 1995. It was notable for his poor third-round 73, his disgraceful mullet and Costantino Rocca's monster putt to force a play-off on the 18th. Daly held his nerve, duly winning the play-off by four strokes. But, in a sign of things to come, at this moment of triumph the big man seemed more enamoured with the streaker wearing just a tweed hat who ran on to the course bearing the words "19th hole" with an arrow pointing to his bottom. Daly was just the fourth American since 1945 to win two majors before his 30th birthday — joining Jack Nicklaus, Tom Watson and Johnny Miller. The boy had talent.

then it all went a little pear shaped.
like this - one of m favourite sports interviews:




Im not one for reading the front half of the paper first, i dont read gossip columns and i dont understand why celebrity couples have their names abbreviated - WTF?
I want my celebrity news and gossip about the celebrities i want to hear about.

Sports stars.

Even the domain of formerly reputable newspapers has almost gone - they are not about news anymore, its infotainment. Not sure if that is a word or not but it needs to be. Under the guise of 'news' they bring you a gossip column. So forget that, i flick to the sports channel or the sports half of the newspaper. However, the sports gossip column does not exist. Unless you are in the UK, then you have the Premier League gossip tabloids and if you are in the UK then you are excused from reading any further.

Tiger Woods & Roger Federer, whilst their greatness is undeniable, they bring nothing but talent to the table. Until this week, that is and it would seem that all this mess about Tiger is a media beat up. So what if a football player got drunk and did something - thats not gossip or entertainment, that is to be expected! They are not role models, just young men with too much money. Oh - and Roger wears clothes that make him look like a tosser, we are told it looks good, by those who know. Fashionistas. Who are part of the problem anyway.
Where i ask you is the controversy, where is the scandal, where is the stuff that makes us proud to be sportsfans and makes idols of those that should not be???

John Daly and a fan compare their beer guts.

We need this!

We need the Mike Tysons of the world.

Sure Daly does not have any Tattoos on his face and to my knowledge has not threatened to eat anyone's children (but may have tried), or have any gold teeth. But hey both went to prison....





We need the Denis Rodmans of the world, Sure Daly does not have facial piercings or dress like this:

Yep, no shit, that is Denis Rodman, 5 x NBA champion winning former basketball superstar.

We need the Ben Cousins, drug problems, getting terrible tattoos and swimming across a river to avoid arrest for a drink driving effort.



Then there was Michael Phelps winding down after a long day staring at the bottom of a pool........

Im sure Daly has smoked a bit of Pot in his time, but then he is not the greatest swimmer of all time or a 14 time olympic gold medalist and considered by many to be the greatest athlete to have lived.

These people are not heroes, but they are an integral part of sports culture. The fallen idol, the troubled star, the icon with fame and fortune that can not get their shit together.
It is more than a just a lapse in judgment - but christ it is entertaining!

Which brings me back to John Daly and his public battle with his own existence.
It is about as good as it gets in terms of off field sports entertainment.


Figure 1.
He has lost 50kgs. That is a battle. D grade celebs get paid money by glossy mags to sell the story of how they lost 5kgs. People tune in to shit TV like "the biggest Loser" and "dance your ass off" to watch fat people lose weight - eat well and exercise - but of course Big John would not go in for that, he just had lap band surgery! His biggest mistake was not doing a doco and selling it. But he has announced that there is going to be a reality TV show about him in 2010.

10 years to late for my liking.



Figure 2:
He lives in an RV.











Which has personalised plates.













Which he sells his own paintings from.



















Which he crashed into a tunnel removing most of the roof.

If only i had a picture!

Basically a mobile trailer park crashed into a tunnel. Reportedly he was taking his daughter to Florida for Lap Band Surgery at the time!

Figure 3:
He has the balls to wear pants like these.
Do you?

Figure 3. Gambling:
He claims to have lost between US$50 and $60 million over the past 15 years.
I never had that much to lose in the first place!

Figure 4. Alcoholism
Duh? One of my favourite quotes:

"Every time I worked out I threw up and I thought to myself 'I can get drunk and throw up, I don't need to do this!"

Christ he was sponsored by Hooters!

Figure 5.
He Smashes Cameras


Figure 6.
Battered Husband Syndrome
He has been married 4 times, that has to be entertaining, especially when your 4th wife takes to your face with a steak knife! Has your wife ever done that?




Figure 7.
He is a recording artist. I always wanted to be a recording artist.
He recorded an autobiographical album titled My Life, featuring guest performances by Darius Rucker, Willie Nelson, Johnny Lee, and Daron Norwood. He contributed background vocals for the "Half Your Age" track on the 2007 Kid Rock album entitled Rock And Roll Jesus.

here is his latest offering it is called Lost Soul
Figure 8.
The Golf.
He smokes while playing golf. Hard to do, the wind always blows the smoke back in my face when i tried.

He gets suspended, in fact his last suspension was for smashing a tee shot off the top of a beer can during a pro-am, then following that up by returning from a rain delay at another tournament with Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden as his caddie.

But he is here in australia and he had this to say

"I'm not putting any pressure on myself. I haven't played a tournament since August so I'm just going to go out and play.... I'm going to go out and play the best I can and give myself a chance to play decent." Asked if winning a third major was possible more than 14 years after his 1995 British Open triumph, Daly responded: "There is always that chance. I don't think I would keep striving to play golf and keep doing what I'm doing if I didn't think I could win."
"But I've got a long way to go. There's been tremendous changes in my body and tremendous change in my golf game." "My swing is so much faster down that it ever has been. I used to be very slow because I was so heavy but now I'm getting through the ball I've got to get the repetition and timing as lot better."
He has the talent & he has the fans.
Now he might just have the body to back up his big hitting - and allow him a few more wins.
The new Girlfriend seems to have helped with the alcohol and the weight, but she is a hooters promotional director - maybe she can help create a few headlines along the way.

Golf needs this
and this..........